Nyasha's Declaration

February 25
Today just marks another day in which I have to endure Babamukuru's bull. The fact I have to put up with him and his wife irks me. What's wrong with reading a book? Doesn't it relate to my education? Sigh. They are both so unreasonably strict on me! I mean, I know that I am from the Shona heritage, but I'm a hybrid now. They can't change the fact that I'm more Western. So why do they even bother to make me to follow those pointless customs and rules? I should be studying harder.  Even though I scored the highest on my exams at school, I. need. to. do. better. I just have to! Everything must be perfect. I must be perfect. Everyone says that I am too skinny and that I need to eat more, but I'm really not. I don't need to eat. Eating is not as important as studying. I go to bed hungry and Maiguru never knows. Oh, Maiguru... she suffocates me too much. I need a cig.

March 3
I can't believe Babamukuru! What gives him the right to treat me like this? I'm wounded all over from his abuse. Just watch me, Babamukuru. You threaten to kill me? What if I kill myself first? How would YOU feel when I'm gone? I will do whatever I please. You'll see. Once I finish school, I'm abandoning you and Maiguru both. You both have no significance in my life... you two are only burdens to me. I need to keep my head up and remember what's most important. I need to be perfect. No matter what I do, I can never satisfy myself. Not eating makes me feel in control of my body, the same control of which I do not have due to Babamukuru and Maiguru restraining me from pretty much everything. Speaking of my body... What am I to do with all of these scars? How will everybody think of me? I am worthless.

Reading Details + Evaluation of C-Layer

Reading Details:
Tsitsi Dangaremba, Nervous Conditions

2/25: Read, annotated, and reading guide Chp. 6 – 10 min.

2/26: Read, annotated, and reading guide Chp. 6 - 70 min.

2/27: Playlist – 60 min.

2/28: Playlist – 30 min.

Total: 170 min.

The assignments that I chose are really helping and guiding me, so far. Even though I find annotating a pain in the butt and that comprehension questions on the reading guides require too much work, I chose to do these because I knew for certain that they would be the most helpful to me in understanding the book (and it is shown to be true.) Because C-Layer consists of the easiest assignments, I find that I am able to be more flexible with them. To evaluate myself, I think I'd give myself a pat on the back. I hate annotating and comprehension questions, ah!! But, I stuck with my assignments consistently throughout each chapter and made sure that I answered all of the questions to my full extent of which I am capable of. 

As I progress with the book, I don't think I will stop annotating or doing the reading guides. They are necessary for me to do. The reading guides assist me in that the questions remind me of the significant events in the chapters (which are pretty lengthy) and annotating allows me to read between the lines. I'm also working on the Playlist simultaneously as I finish a chapter. I really enjoy it as I'm never not listening to music in my spare time and pretty useful, however, not as useful as my C-Layer projects. Overall, I'm hoping to stay as focused and consistent through the whole book and stay conscious of the due dates for the assignments.

Reflection and Reading Details

Reading Details:
Tsitsi Dangaremba, Nervous Conditions
2/18: Read and annotated Chp. 3 - 60 min.
2/21: Read and annotated Chp. 4 - 60 min.
2/23: Read and annotated Chp. 5 - 60 min.
Total: 180 min.

When I started to write this paper, I initially depended and followed my outline. But I found that I could have organized the outline more logically. I basically just wrote everything that I came up with for hours straight. Then, I went back to organize and add in all of the missing details. After submitting my rough draft, I went through all of the comments and I fixed my mistakes, taking out what wasn't needed and being more specific on certain parts. The most difficult, for me, was organizing the whole thing. I had all of my information. I just wasn't sure how I was going to be able to put it all together and present the information in my paper. I felt like I had enough information for most things, but lacking information in other things. Also, the time crunch really stressed me out. The most useful thing for me was the Research writers' Cheat Sheet! It really saved me a ton of time and made sure I had everything I needed. I don't think you should consider changing in preparing this assignment to your students next year. I felt like you explained everything clearly and prepared us thoroughly with your powerpoint presentations.

The feedback I got from my peers were helpful. I appreciated all of it. I was told to elaborate more about how the culture has been reshaped and to put less detail in my thesis statement. Your comments were extremely helpful, because I noticed the errors that I didn't detect. I would say the strongest point of my paper would be word choice. The weakest would probably be organization or details. I feel as if I could've included more on the changes and less about the obstacles. However, information on the changes in the culture was limited and hard to find. The obstacles were easier to find and more obvious. I also feel as if my thesis statement isn't specific enough, but if I were to make it as specific as possible, it would be too long, I think.

Reading and Research Paper Details

2/5: Started rough draft - 30 min.
2/6: Finished rough draft - 4 hours - 240 min.
2/15: Read and annotated chapters 1 and 2 of Nervous Conditions - 2 hours - 120 min.

Total: 390 min.

Researching Work

Monday: I browsed for more sources I could use and organized all of my articles into a folder on my computer. That way, instead of constantly going back and forth from Noodletools, I'll be able to get what I need quicker. I also finished half of my outline. (1 hour in class, 1 hour at home.)

Tuesday: I completed the rest of my outline, adding the extra support to my topics and finalizing it with direct quotations and their citations. (at home, 2 hours.)

Wednesday: I edited my outline by modifying my research question (I realized it wasn't specific enough.) I also got out some of my Vietnamese music as well as my parents' Vietnamese music written from the 1960's. Seeing my ao dai (Vietnamese traditional dress) in my closet, I decided to look up more about the origin of the dress online. (at home, 1 hour.)

Research Topic + Reading Details

Hi there! My research topic has been very much influenced by what I see and observe every day. The purpose of my research is to answer the question: How has the Vietnamese culture in America become Americanized, as a result of Vietnamese immigrants coming to the U.S.? As I am an American born Vietnamese-American, I definitely have different look on certain things in comparison to my parents and relatives. My family really does value our culture, though, and we try to uphold it as much as we can. We usually never speak to each other in English, and we keep the same customs as our traditional ancestors did. We greatly respect our elders the most, and we always wait for the elders to eat before we do. Showing disrespect to them is prohibited. When going out to eat, there is only one person who pays for the bill, which is the person who invited everyone there. People paying separate bills would be inappropriate. Shoes are never worn in the house. Religion and marriage are incredibly important aspects in the family, as they are both huge social events and bring people together. You can’t forget about the food, either! What I have observed so far, though, is that the culture is gradually disappearing and becoming more Western. I have a few friends who don’t even know how to speak Vietnamese. Their families even wear shoes inside of the house. General customs and traditions are not followed anymore. People usually got married really early; my grandmother was 15 when she had her first child. I guess because of the Western influence, the Vietnamese have become totally different. Usually, you live with your parents even after you get married and have children. But in America, grandparents live separately from their children. From my research, I’ve learned that Vietnamese street gangs have sprung up! I was surprised since being involved with crime and violence is dishonoring to the family. I also didn’t know about how most “Amer-asians” were treated. Having American soldier fathers and Vietnamese mothers, most were thrown out on streets and abandoned. My aunts also had an American military father who abandoned them, as well. But I didn’t know that there was a specific term for them and how many were left on street corners and were just dumped there. Basically, the culture has become Americanized by losing its Vietnamese roots and adopting the American values and traditions.

Growing up as a American-born Vietnamese, I've observed a variety of changes within my culture in my life. The purpose of my research is to understand how my culture has become Americanized as a result of Vietnamese immigrants settling in America. There are many components that make up the culture: food, traditions, morals, religion, music, and most importantly, our family. My family greatly honors our Vietnamese culture. We always aim to preserve our culture as much as possible by always speaking Vietnamese to each other. Our elders must be shown the most respect out of all. Showing disrespect to them would eating before they do during mealtime, or touching the top of their heads. Shoes must never be worn inside of the house. When eating at a restaurant, only one person pays for the bill for everybody there: the person who originally invited everyone to come. However, a conflict in the new Vietnamese generation has become evident. They are gradually beginning to become more Americanized as they lose their original Vietnamese roots. Most of my Vietnamese friends living in America are not able to speak the native language. Some families allow the household members to wear shoes inside of the house. Respect towards your elders are rarely ever seen anymore. Vietnamese couples were married unusually early; my grandmother was 15 when she gave birth for the first time. But here, that would be scorned at. The custom is to live with your parents even after getting married and having children, to be able to take care of them as they are of older age. In America, with the children living far away from their parents, they are unable to look after and care for them. From my research, I've learned many new things that I never knew about. For instance, many Vietnamese street gangs have arose. This surprises me due to the fact that being involved with crime and violence is a huge dishonor to the family. I also did not know the specific term for "Amer-Asians" and how they were treated back in Vietnam. Having "Amer-Asians" as aunts, they were abandoned by their American father in the Army during the Vietnamese War. But most other Amer-Asians were left abandoned on streets by both of their parents. Basically, the Vietnamese culture is becoming more and more Americanized each day from leaving behind components of their culture and adopting Western values and traditions.

Reading details:

1/23: Found, read, and annotated 4 sources: 240 min.

1/24: Found, read, and annotated 2 sources: 120 min.

Brian Wansick, Mindless Eating

1/23: 10 min., 1/24: 30 min., 1/25: 60 min. pp. 172-248

Total time: 420 min.

Free Post: Temptations and Guilt

After being consistent and faithful to something for a long period of time, whether it be a workout regime or practicing the violin everyday, and then having a lapse, can cause you to submit to feelings of guilt. Although there are many adroit dieters who are able to crusade with having salad every day for dinner, they might occasionally succumb to that mouthwatering, warm, and rich oatmeal creme pie in front of them. 

Not to affront anybody, but I do not know how it is possible to not have temptations. It might be easy to resist urges to those temptations, however, with me, it is an entirely different story. An advantage for me is that  I absolutely hate the feeling of guilt after doing something I know that I shouldn't have done. So the feeling of guilt holds me back from inducting in a naughty demeanor or action. Even though I can't provide erudite information about this topic as much as I want to, I just want to remind everyone that some pleasures in life are only temporary, while the feelings of shame and guilt lag behind you endlessly...